My Brownspace, Your Brownspace
| By Zivarna Murphy |
My Brownspace
I remember that trip to the Highlands
I was 12, 13 maybe
Feeling so alienated
My white family not even noticing
Or sensing how I felt
Until I spelled it out
“Don’t be silly” they said.
“They’re just staring because you’re beautiful!”
Brushing it off
Glossing over deeply creviced prejudiced landscape
Often smoothed over, filled in
Let that gnarly surface be seen!
Let it sing
This land is falling apart
Eroding
Ebbing
Longshore drifting away
Death of a landscape
Ever changing
Evolving
At breaking point.
The perfect metaphor
For our fragility.
Our human precarity.
Our loss.
Our uncertainty.
All of our loss
All of my loss
Brown waters
Brown cliffs
Brown sand
Brown rocks and pebbles
Brown me
Save it because it saved me!
Welcome
Wild clay
Wild swim
Wild rim
Wild me
Saved it because it saved me!
Othered land
Othered sea
Othered cliffs
Othered me
Save the land because it saved me!
I’m walking this broken land
In search of clay
In search of inspiration
To help form my vessels
Fossil hunter
Pickaxe in hand
At the edge of precarious cliffs
I don’t see many people here that look like me
But I feel comfortable
Able to claim place at Mappleton beach
Clay fetcher
Bag in hand
Car parked close
Not many people here
But I feel comfortable
Able to claim space at Mappleton beach
Stone collector
Pockets heavy
Bulging with gifts from cliffs
And sea
Delivered here for me
I feel comfortable
Claiming Mappleton beach
Intrigued by the tactility of clay
Flowing luminosity
Slip, slurry, squelching down
Sparkle with celebration
Sink my fingers into boulder clay cliffs
Silky smooth
Massage mud between finger pads
Letting it guide me
Reclaiming clay
Reclaiming place
Taking up space
Being me
Just me
Pulled apart body of land
A small piece saved
Resisting destruction (constructing, reconstructing, deconstructing)
Taking a part of you
To remember you
Embody you
To celebrate you
Before we lose you
They’re starting to crack
Keep going until they break
Pushed to limits
Pulled apart vessels
Clay as a holder of stories
Read in the finished object
Reclaim it, celebrate it
In this new form
Made by me
For all to see
Challenging the barriers to access
Taking up space
Claiming my place in nature.
Your Brownspace
Think of what the land can offer
Let it push you
Take over you
Stretch you
Inspire you
Reset you
Recharge you
Reconnect you
Guide you to your nature-practice
Like I have been lead to mine
Nature is like a weighted blanket
Alleviates anxiety
Alluvial hug
Let go of the unwanted things you carry
Pick up a stone, rock, pebble
Carry it with you
Secret in your pocket
Feel its tactile surface
Textural connections
A relation to the past
Everyone unique
A simple act of connecting
The mark it might make…
Is making
On you
Just you
Your impact
Your imprint
Your voice
Your power
Your space
Your place
Is here too
Take home only
Pockets full of pebbles
Admired at home over tea
Iron rich
Manganese sodden
Trodden
a thousand times over
a thousand years over to be picked up and cherished by you
just you and those you choose to share it with
Challenge the barriers to access
Take up your space
Reclaim your place in nature.
This is our Brownspace!
‘My Brownspace, Your Brownspace’ for Peaks of Colour’s Nature Writing Journal with accompanying images of Zivarna’s ceramic vessels and the cliffs at Mappleton beach, Yorkshire, UK. This was originally written as a 4-part poetry piece called Reclaiming Brownspace. A link to the full piece can be found on Zivarna’s website and Instagram.
